A Call for Gentleness
BY: PASTOR TOM PARKINSON
“Let your gentleness be evident to all.” – Philippians 4:5
Earlier this month I shared with our church an update on the General Conference of The United Methodist Church, which (among other things) decided to remove prohibitions against same-sex weddings. I shared that local churches and pastors will now need to decide for themselves which weddings they will perform, and I cast a vision for how our church would handle this moment. If you missed my announcement, you can watch it HERE.
The primary appeal I made to our congregation is to handle this moment with “gentleness.” Gentleness is listed among the ten qualities of the fruit of the Spirit, meaning it is a distinctive quality of the Christian life (Galatians 5:23). The word translated gentleness in the New Testament means “humility, meekness, and considerateness.” It entails responding to the failures, weaknesses, criticisms, and harsh words of others with grace, kindness, and respect. Gentleness means responding calmly to the storms of life, and refusing to give in to anxiety when chaos erupts.
I probably do not need to convince you that “gentleness” is not exactly a strong suit in our 21st-century culture. It is God’s sense of humor that has us reflecting on gentleness in the days of an election year that is putting on full display our penchant for harsh rhetoric, sharp words, and vicious rage – all done in the name of “winning” and “getting things done.”
It’s not just our politics. Our culture in general is not very good at being gentle. For all its wonders, social media has become a breeding ground for verbal bullying and has created a “say what you feel” mentality. We love a good mic drop - when we get to say what we want, prove that we are right, and in the process get to pulverize our enemies.
In our “dog-eat-dog” world, gentleness is often viewed as a sign of weakness. We worry that gentleness turns us into door mats, susceptible to being walked over by a world that can be hostile and aggressive. Yet, gentleness was a hallmark of Jesus’ life – and he was no doormat. Jesus was not shy about boldly and courageously speaking the truth, but he never responded to the hostility of others with belligerence or aggression.
Perhaps there is no greater example of gentleness than what Jesus displayed on the cross. Jesus had every right to be angry and outraged by the way he was being mistreated. As the Son of God, he had the power to pulverize his enemies. But Jesus knew that responding to evil with evil would not bring salvation to the world. With gentleness, he restrained himself, even praying for those who crucified him.
At the cross, Jesus shows us the gentleness is not weakness – it is strength under control. Gentleness means refusing to win an argument by selling your soul. It means knowing that it is more important to demonstrate the love you profess than to prove that you are right.
As we enter into a season of discernment as a church, we will be discussing sensitive and challenging topics. Undoubtedly, there will be different perspectives and convictions shared within our congregation. My prayer is that we will demonstrate gentleness in the way we care for, listen to, and speak to each other. In so doing we can show the world a different way to handle hard conversations, while remaining true to our deepest held values and convictions.